Thoughts on the Process

I was looking through some old Facebook photos and saw a piece I created back in 2019 that made me take a moment to reflect on my journey as an artist.

The piece in question is of Boris Karloff in his role as Austrian architect Hjalmar Poelzig in the film The Black Cat. I’ve always loved the visuals in this film, and seeing Karloff play the villain to Lugosi’s protagonist was a switch up I always appreciated. And, with the wonderful Noir tones of the film, it makes for a dramatic reference for art.

The piece in 2019 was part of the annual “InkTober” effort where you challenge yourself to produce an ink drawing a day. The results were not to my liking, but I posted it anyway.

Fast forward to 2023 where I’ve decided to challenge myself to produce as many quality pieces in 12 months as possible. I’ll talk about that effort in another blog, but suffice to say, I covered a lot of ground and styles across the 100 images I created in those 12

months.

One of those was a new illustration of Karloff in the same role and what a difference between the two.

2019

2023

So, what changed? Literalists will point out the obvious that one is in ink and the other is digital, but that’s not the right answer. What changed was me.

In 2019, I was drawing when it suited me. When the mood hit me, I would produce some work in a short period of time and then immediately push it out to social media for feedback and validation. “Validation” being the primary goal of my efforts betrayed a lack of self-confidence as well as a lack of commitment on my part to being an artist. Sure, we all need some sort of validation on occasion, but for an artist, it’s the enemy. Self-confidence only comes from within, and for me it came when I proved to myself that I am a dedicated creator who can’t help but create on a regular basis.

Sure, I wrestle with self-doubt and talk myself out of quitting this all on a weekly basis, but on the good days I can look back at a body of work that only embarrasses me slightly, and that’s ok: the desire to improve is the fuel for the journey.

So, if you’re an artist and you’re being hard on yourself – just dig in. Enjoy the journey because it is all yours! Share with others along the way but enjoy it. The journey is all you have.